managing

editor;

it is difficult to jump the ranks.

once, we were all equals. 

but now, somehow, the power has tipped. 

I want respect (fear), 

but, of course, 

to remain loved*

what is power? really?             ...                .... determination? ethic? ambition?

who has it? who manipulates it?

especially among friends, lovers, colleagues. 

I don't know if I can do it. I really don't.

How do you strike a balance? or eternal composure? 

Time, money, energy, curiosity, burnout.

I cried twice today. My god. twice! 

I haven't cried in a long, long while. 

It soothed me, strangely.

3 a.m. and the production comes to a close.

relationship with a newspaper: complicated.

Now I should just sleep on it. 

 

 

*this is an impossible desire while on a paper