Sunday, June 29, 2008

démanagement.

alors,I think I need a foot doctor. six days on, one day off (but not 'off' at all in fact...) is weary on the sole.

Things have been organized, packed, boxed, taped, marked, hauled and placed ready to be reopened all over this crazy french town. Canada Day in La Belle is moving day - I wonder if this is the reason separatism is alive and well. I have lost a roommate (mother figure), gained a roommate (father figure) and am reembracing a third who ditched town for awhile (sister figure).I have also moved in a lover (boyfriend figure). In this grand, sweeping gesture of habitual upheave it feels strange not to participate.... but I'm the only one in my home who plans on standing still for awhile. (You'd think that it would be less work - mais non.) Not unlike another beautiful blogspace I know & love, there are the most amazing matelas patterning every other corner (as well as tables, dressers, mirrors, chairs, obsolete electric idems who might still work? or something? donate them?) who are so quaint, but sad. (nb. madgesty: I tip my hat to you. I dont think I could ever post a picture of myself in cry-mode, as I am far FAR less beautiful than you are when I weep. you have my eternal affection.)

Now more than ever before (perhaps bc I'm reminded daily how tossable our lives are...) , I have come to realize the false comfort of having things. Wokring day in, day out in the commercial heart of the city I find myself wearied by the pace at which we are told in droves to consume and discard mercilessly.

I greatly encourage everyone to pick up Adbusters 'Cool' issue. Here is a quote:

'Cool used to epitomize substance over style. It wasn't about listenting to a type of music, watching certain films, or having 'things'. It was about giving birth to an idea that would radically cahnge our social, political & cultural constructions.

When corporations comodified cool, they stole its essence & turned it into something shallow & superficial. People no longer needed to be cool - they could simply buy it. - Dan Perjovschi.

That was exactly what I needed to read at the exact moment I needed to read it.
I am over cool, officially. over it.
I will be the uncoolest person on earth.

- - - -- - -- ---- --- ---------


As promised, I am going to start blogging the beautiful things sent to me via snailmail (the romantic way).
I dig nostalgia like that.

Otherwise, I have joined hatebook, so fuck facebook. & we found a rental jam space & a keyboard, so hopefully our pathetic little myspace profile will flourish. I am a walking contradiction.

& just because canada seems to have a really hard time defining itself and it iscanada day, I thought I would include this from the CTV.ca News Staff:

" The survey by The Dominion Institute and Citizen and Immigration Canada was released on Monday, just ahead of Canada Day, in the form of a list of the top 101 things Canadians named.

Here are the top five:
1) Queen Elizabeth (really? why? are we really? I'm with Rick Mercer on this one)
2) Maple Leaf (obvious. but the beaver probably should have the upper hand)
3) Universal Health Care (this is a marked difference from the US)
4) Vimy Ridge (my ass. canada is touching bums with bush at the moment, military wise...)
5) Confederation (not celine dion?)

Though the list is broad in its content, ranging from Tim Hortons, ranking at number 60 on the list, to snow at number 63, it also showed a surprising amount of commonality among Canadians' priorities."The findings show citizens in Canada define their country largely in similar ways, regardless of where they're from," Marc Chalifoux, of The Dominion Institute, told CTV's Canada AM. "Different regions will put different local elements in perspective and we'll include them in the list, but at the top of the list people define themselves in similar ways -- the beaver, hockey, the Canadian flag, Canada Day. These are key elements for Canadians to understand their country."

Perhaps more surprising than what was on the list, was what was missing, Chalifoux said.
Elements of (*****)aboriginal culture, for example, were completely absent from the top 101. (*** sidenote: the fact that education is a provincial thing is totally bo-GUS. this is the reason most QBCOIS know little-to-nothing about the plight of First Nations in this country. sad. sad. sad.) And there was also a void in the area of arts and culture. Author Margaret Atwood, painter Tom Thomson and singer/songwriter Neil Young were all missing from the list. (BOGUS) But Celine Dion made the list, coming in at number 33 -- sandwiched between the Calgary Stampede at 32 (bleh. cowboys in chevrolets) and the Canadian National Railway at 34th on the list (we should thank Asian Sacrifice for that one). "She ranked ahead of John A. Macdonald which is a kind of surprising finding in itself," Chalifoux said. "At The Dominion Institute we're very engaged in telling Canadians about their history, particularly young Canadians (history is only required to grade eight or something...).
So to find Celine Dion ahead of John A. Macdonald was a bit surprising, but we're happy to see a lot of historical elements make the list." Confederation, for example, came in at 20th on the list. Vimy Ridge came in at number 30 and the repatriation of the constitution came in at 82."


that is it, that is all. How much do you know about your country?? OVER bran van 3000, Larrybeth.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

le vert

this post is dedicated to my new pusher, who sells terribly amazing organic green as well as tasty fair-trade treats that will get you baked. Plus, he's a contracter, father and yoga instructor. gah!




next in line (when I find the time)
- all the things sent by snail mail
- top 10 tshirts
- video footie of fff? alex boy?? maybe??

love & stuff, LB.

Sunday, June 22, 2008

fff2

les mains

dans le noir

se touchent

& se separent

les doights explorent

et retourne au gant

& vont ramper

sur le sol

il les guide

hors,

de la lumiere...



-french from france.






on your friendly
neighbourhood
myspace. (fox)

Thursday, June 19, 2008

naked boxes...

Sunday, June 15, 2008

l'envie...

I have only ever lived the jealous kind of love. A love corrupted by unyeilding insecurities. A series of fleeting, illusive moments forever accosted by self-deprecating questions. I had thought myself better than the game this time; convinced that my fingers had finally found their way around what previously eluded me -- (and sent me storming from the city) but no.

Today I hit a terrible low after cascading a glorious high, and I dont know what else to do with myself but to pen it.

This time around, though, I am staring at it from another vantage point. instead of being the one half-maddened, half-blinded by the other i am provoking him. I am wallowing in both guilt and power. I am cruising many hours of sleeplessness. I am utterley beleaguered by the notion of distance between two people. It is ecstacy, agony, isolation, conversation. the other.

- - - - - - - -I gave myself one year to fuck off & figure it out... & now, as I stand at the threshold of its conclusion, I cannot help but be swallowed by reflection and anticipation. I think I am going out properly with a trip to winnipeg following the physical end of a love affair. I will be driven mad with longing while being held in a firm embrace by the only other faces in this world that could cure a heartache. I am excited to pillage my other life once again come august. I am excited to reclaim my books and my plants and my jobs and my friends and my family.I am excited to feel the wind in my hair on an exchange district step. and have a veggie burger in my belly. I am excited to reaffirm the things I already know while waiting to test the things I that dont.

- - - - - -

but in the meantime: courses are set, timetables map out my fall & winter, and I am prepared to see through my first year at concordia without having the slightest clue how to fund it. hah. womyns studies, broadcasting, radio, print. Here I am. Here I come. make a pauper out of me & fill me to the brim with better understanding. show me another year in montreal.

- - - - - - - - -

time. time. time. time. time. the fact that this year (yes it has almost been a full year) has flown by before my very eyes affirms for me that time is simply a matter of perspective. the countdown is on, wpg. I'll see you in 32. bisoux, LB.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

a well deserved light

currently I laze, facing a turning fan and watching the smoke from my lips cast itself to and fro, lost in the violent storm of electric wind. I am completely naked, completely satisfied and completely deserving of this liberation after a hellish forty plus workweek, catering to formula1 yankee jocks and 'fashion' girls adorned in oversized, expensive looking purses/sunglasses. At this moment I couldnt be more at ease & I wouldnt mind never to see montreal again. Not montreal personally, per say, but montreal 'en masse'. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday. Montreal Monde Festival or some fashion shit with Formula 1 grand prix shit on St. Catherines and a sidewalk sale up st. Laurent. I have never seen more people stroll down a sidewalk sale or shop commercially in all my years of retail. It is incredible to come from a canada day on osborne & to now sell fares on both of these streets, where trendsetters and aforementioned losers roam numerous and free, satisfying my every people-watching-desire to a tee while completely exhausting me. I have seen the cutest (fashion) elders in the world. I have seen beautiful mothers and fathers, hosting multiple interesting children. (nb. talking to french children is hilarious and often easier than talking to their beautiful parents) I have certainly never EVER seen more normals in fanny packs and cameras, and obviously I was disenthused by the 1028475859309294857549439303 american apparel signifiers that abounded this town.

my mood was quickly remedied though, I saw the chester molester himself, walking tall amongst models in all his four foot glory. - - - - - - -dfjsoigjsdoihesoijfwoiejfeowingoiegioew.

I think that perhaps that was the hilight of my weekend - but let me explain myself before you criticize. I know that this sounds starstuck and I cant wholly deny my gawk-factor because I didnt take my eyes off of his mint green 'vertically integrated' polo shirt until he was lost away in the rest of the crowd, but it was amazing. I have heard (and written) the darndest things about that dude since the SECOND aa stormed my hometown (thank you again, brent), & the chance to reside within his unaware radius & study his moves from afar was intense for me. the man, the legend, the 'revolution'.
viva la mexico and legalize LA, ouai?

but it ends there & I'll get onto another train now... I am contented and excited to embracing mtl in these upcoming months. I want a voisinage so badly & everyone I have met on the block these days make it seem like it is possible to build up a little community. i cant wait to bump into people I know on the streets and support local friends. I want more art shows and music shows and burlesque shows and dance parties. I want fluent conversations. I want LOCAL. it could be that I am starving for winnipeg, or perhaps I just feel really at home at the moment; I dont know.


- - - - - - - - -

sort of like the weather if you live on the fleuve st laurent, my mood is constantally alternating between extremes. Starvation for lifted humidity & billowing wind while sitting naked in front of your fan one minute, standing in your underwear (I have close neighbours) while the cold rain comes doWN & being electrified by lightning storm the next. I have found myself caught up in the pendulum these days; confident & terrified. excited for the things to come, while mourning the things that are to go.

I have no idea what the months will bare, besides work.