existentialism

----------------------


The idea is to remain in a state of constant departure while always arriving...






some of the more colourful back alley art I have seen in a bit ...
I have also developed a healthy obsession with 80s esthetic pin-ups.
















































---------------
According to "the waking life":

We are all losing the real virtues of living passionately. Your life is yours to create. The more you talk about a person as a marginlized being, the more you open up a world of excuses, keeping an individual from doing things, taking accountability and barring the road of communication. We should never write ourselves off as a victim of various forces...



Benedict Anderson also proved:
Our cells completely regenerate every seven years,
and thus we become completely different beings
while remaining fundamentally the same...
seven. fourteen. twenty-one.



( I have taken to cycling the streets in the dead of night in hopes to further orient myself in this expansive, cosmopolitan space.)


I stopped as I passed Holt Renfrew & thought of my other jaunting half...

In conclusion,
consumerism. art. commodity. participation.
We make our own confines.
We are the authors of our own existance.

Vivant avec une profusion de vie.
N'ennuyer pas, Lo.

in a dream I was a warewolf...

--------------------------------------------

Broken sundown loverless showdown.
Gun hip swollen lip bottle sip. Yeah, I suck dick.
Loose grip on gravity falls. Sky blinding, crumbling walls.
River sweep away my memories of Children's things.
Before the yearning song of flesh on flesh,
young hearts burst open wounds bleed fresh
...

I'm a shake you off though, get up on that horse
ride into the sunset: look back with no remorse

...

I don't mean to close the door but,
for the record, my heart is sore.
You blew through me like bullet holes
left stains on my sheets and stains on my soul
You left me broke down begging for change
had to catch a ride with a man who was deranged
He had your hands and my father's face.
Another western vampire- different time same place

I'm a shake you off though get up on that horse
and ride into the sunset look back with no remorse

"Warewolves" - CocoRosie
The Adventures of Ghosthorse & Stillborn

Now that I’m alone I feel the lonely brokenness
Of all the wicked avenues I’ve ever sold my love on
All these moments of meekness and trembling subsided
In the outright abandon of this orphan child.
Home is on the highway, living on soft bread and solace
I guess I’m waiting for nightfall or a solar eclipse
And to wake up half-empty
Only to be filled again with mourning…
He’s my evil shadow dove; My black Palamito
Can’t break him like a diamond skull;
I can’t seem to do so. Can’t just rub him out like the
Mob used to do so. Like memories of porno and tearstains
& tobacco O its a mini disastro
Bigger than the ice age. Don’t know if maybe dinosaurs
Could live through it, like the Indians and butterflies.
What’s crushed is my spirit, O I fear it is too fragile

I always knew I would spend a lot of time alone
No one would understand me
Maybe I should go and live amongst the animals
Spent all my time amongst the animals
And on the tracks I would go they lead to the sea
To be amongst the animals…

Oh I’m just a fall leaf - something simple and shy like that
That’s why my heart lies down beside the sidewalk
Like an empty restaurant filled with perfume and balloons
I sit and entertain the bizarre ghosts of my soul
His name still lingers maybe lactates on my tongue
Perhaps I’m just teething for a foreign fallen destiny;
Miserable, but mine. I look like his mother
Or Sophia Loren in a old fashioned movie
Slow motion I cling to my child desperate for love
On day soon my brother died made me remember all the
Subordinate feelings I cast aside
Maybe I had lied when I said I was ok
Just getting along like a little song that stops to sing and say
“Wild willow, windy winter won’t you blow through me
My heart is eternity”

I always knew that I would spend a lot of time alone…
"Animals" - CocoRosie
The Adventures of Ghosthorse & Stillborn

la belle province...

pasc had a couple, so we bolted ---------------------------later smog.


































oeuf













We drove through Quebec City on our way to adventure.
The whole time I sat, mouth gaping in the backseat, having a full-on "A Part of Our Heritage" experience...
& it's just so clean. The squeeking variety of clean. Polo shirts abound. These are manicured lives.




..........................blatant elitism.

she lives!!

















FYI: vilaine en francais = naughty...( I was hoping for a saucier breakfast) Other french vocab learned on this roadtrip include the following. ducon = prick. conne = female prick. longueil = a city in QB and a mullet. radical.


























































































yes. yes indeed.




guitar hero.




jonquère knows how to party.




pretty
extreme
hey?
























obviously we ended the night authentically francophone.




























we had to check out "choc" to see if it lived up to its self-proclaimed hype; it didn't. I wasn't shocked at all...






Back to beautiful QB City...



The day was spent walking steep inclines and declines amongst asians & anglophones snapping their cameras ... (I would have been happily blogging alongside them, much to the charign of my montreal company, had my camera not been void of batteries. merde.) & the night was spent with a couple bottles of red, a good meal, a joint, a jaunt & the plateau....



































tu me manques mon interiéur cuiller, Lo.

une voleure dans la nuit...

(prahNdr)
P R E N D R E
to take

je prends (zhuh prahN)





small pathetic thrills.
keep my heart rate beating.
new boxers & a jumpsuit.
random crookery.

le nouvelle vag

=====================================










this is the new wave, baby...
---------------------------------


this one breaks my heart. She bleats in the night like a lost child & chirps in heat...



















This is probably my favourite room in the house, if only because I have, of late, become domestic as fuck.








with newlyweds.................

old port is pretty amazing & cobblestoned.


rue

..... this. looks. familliar.



















I have developed
a healthy addiction
to signs.

----------------------------for janelle, who had better be laughing out loud.




La rockette - is sooo. rad.




















"

I had gone to no such place but to the smoke of cafes and nights when the room whirled and you needed to look at the wall to make it stop, nights in bed, drunk, when you knew that that was all there was, and the strange excitement of waking and not knowing, and the world all unreal in the dark and so exciting that you must resume again unknowing and not caring in the night, sure that this was all and all and all and not caring. Suddenly to care very much and to sleep to wake with it sometimes morning and all that had been there gone and everything sharp and hard and clear. always another day starting and then another night.

"

Hemingway, A Farewell to Arms.










toujours fidel & toujours fouable, Lo.