“I Am Actually Over It. It Feels Good”
The above is an authentic quote, by the way. But it happens to be very applicable to my life at the moment. My last horoscope read that the coming weeks will be an opportune time for me to accomplish a big shift in my relationship to my difficult memories and that life will be conspiring to free me from the compulsion to anchor my sense of self in my sense of pain. I admit that it is ridiculous to believe in horoscopes but come on, I’m a Pisces; we love this shit – especially when it is trippily accurate and well written.
I am also starting to get over “the blog” as well. E for effort.
I mean, I suppose it was born of good reason and I will continue to do it eventually because my fam. & bests are digging it, and I miss them enormously & would like to keep them involved with what is going down; it is really unfortunate that I do not have the technological competence to operate a flicker account (even though Luke M. was kind enough to install it for me), so I figured I should make an attempt to turn the solitary blemish on my transcripts into some sort of silver lining situation. (Introduction to Information Technology. HTML formatting. Groan.) Also I am, quite simply, feeling like a lazy turd at the moment & don’t even want to ATTEMPT to demystify the reason why the spaces between pictures/captions are always so fucked up on this thing.
In addition, it is likely that drinking a copious amount of wine/vodka yesterday evening & dancing my face off at la rockette with M. Adey and friends has something to do with this general feeling of detachment. Or perhaps because Mr. Rob Vilar & I tore it up all over this town a few days prior, eating baguette & cheese & attending “neauveau film’’ parties, never being too cool or hipster to dance if we wanted to…
(I am certain that we were the only ones ‘danseons sans entraves’ on the floor actually. Winnipeg was well represented amongst the socialite cinema buffs & all those highly important people of the Montréal film community. I am confident that the dance remains, though the Collective is merely a memory & may it rest in peace. Fuck American Apparel, might I add…)
But the leaves are turning & so am I. Something dies & something else is born. Being over ‘’it’’ maybe makes room to get into something else, & I consider this a fair warning that this particular thing will likely become a little more “type-y” & a little less “visual stimulation” if the cloud of lethargy does not lift.
One last thing: Radiohead is blowing my MIND right now. Thom Yorke is making me want a warm bath. Way to cut out the middleman of music distribution boys; you just got three shades hotter. & to the masses: download & devour. Very Satisfying.
“All I Need” - Radiohead. In Rainbows.
I’m the next step waiting to go up.
I am an animal trapped inside your clutch.
I am all the days that you choose to ignore.
You are all I need. You’re all I need.
I’m in the middle of your picture.
Dying in the leaves.
Lo.